St Vincent’s walks the bereavement journey: for Silvano and friends it’s just one step at a time

They gather once a month for a walk, a chat and later a coffee. And if you passed them by and saw them chatting and smiling, they could be like any other group of people, engaging in an activity that happens everywhere across the city, every day of the week.

But this group – Brisbane’s only organised Bereavement Walking Group – is unique, in that the participants are bonded by their grief and loss of a loved one (in a lot of cases, their spouse).

Organised and facilitated by, St Vincent’s Private Hospital Brisbane Palliative Care Service at Kangaroo Point, the Bereavement Walking Group, this week celebrates its first anniversary - with all of the participants having been referred through the hospital’s counselling service after the loss of a loved one who was cared for by the St Vincent’s palliative care hospital or home-based service.

The group leader is the ever-energetic 68-year old Brisbane father of two, Silvano Basso who was assisted by St Vincent’s bereavement counselling service before and after the death of his wife Annie from cancer in 2023. Annie had been a counsellor herself, mainly working for Lifeline and the Women’s Legal Service.

Bereavement Walking Group leader Silvano Basso and counsellor Anna Young

Annie was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in June 2020, and when it became obvious that oncology treatment was no longer of benefit, Annie was grateful that St Vincent’s provided a palliative care service in the home, where she eventually passed away surrounded by loved ones.

“The one-on-one counselling service that St Vincent’s Private Hospital provided, both before and after Annie’s death, was very beneficial to me as I tried to deal with my grief, loss and the fact that my lifetime partner was no longer there - along with all of the complex emotions that go with that,” says Silvano.

“When my one-on-one grief counselling finished, I said to my St Vincent’s counsellor (Anna Young) that I felt like I wanted to give back and told her that if I could do anything in return I was happy to do so.”

The St Vincent’s Bereavement Walking Group caught the attention this week of local ABC Radio 612 Brisbane, with co-host Loretta Ryan joining Silvano and Anna for a short walk and live on-air chat on the breakfast program.

Listen here to the interview on the Wednesday, January 22 show – the interview starts at 1:34.30

The idea of a Bereavement Walking Group, as another option for care for the next of kin of deceased palliative care patients, was something that St Vincent’s Palliative Care Community Nurse Unit Manager Matt Lancaster, had been keen to kick off for some time.

“It’s been on my wish list, as I thought it was a natural progression for people like Silvano and others from our counselling service, to try putting people together in a natural outside environment, and Silvano thankfully agreed to volunteer to be our group leader.” says Matt.

“There’s something more powerful and authentic about the walking group being led by someone who has that lived experience and who is working through their ongoing grief of losing someone very close to them – someone who knows what others in the group are going through and who can truthfully say to them: ‘I know what it feels like.’”

ABC Radio Breakfast host Loretta Ryan with walk leader Silvano Basso and counsellor Anna Young

St Vincent’s Palliative Care Community Nurse Unit Manager Matt Lancaster

The Bereavement Walking Group meets monthly on a Wednesday. It follows one of several, hour-long walks along riverside paths in Kangaroo Point, City Botanic Gardens, West End and New Farm. The group was initially, mostly comprised of women, however more recently, has seen more men join the group. The walking group can vary in size from three or four to a dozen or more.

Silvano, a retired entrepreneur and founder of a software company, says the group is more about the companionship (and in many cases, friendship) and support they can provide to each other. And while they talk about grief and how people are coping, they also talk about the everyday things people discuss, like travel, family and other more mundane topics.

“It’s a learning experience for all of us in terms of where the walking group fits in the grieving process and each person’s individual ability to cope with their loss and all of the dynamic emotional and psychological elements to that, on any given day,” says Silvano.

“The walking group works for us even though grief and the bereavement journey is such an individual thing. The main benefit of the group is that it provides a ‘safe space’ for everyone where there’s a common thread and where everyone can be themselves – especially given that for most of the group members, they have lost their lifelong partner.

“There’s no judgement or fear – we don’t have to be concerned about saying the wrong thing because we’ve all been there, or are still there. Occasionally someone in the group will be having a bad day or will be having a moment and something going on in their lives has upset them – we all know what it’s like. It’s accepted.

“We walk, talk and then at the end, we sit around for coffee like normal people. We enjoy each other’s company – we talk about a wide range of subjects – much of it unrelated to death and bereavement and we’ll have a few laughs as well.”

The group is always accompanied by a St Vincent’s Private Hospital Brisbane bereavement counsellor. One of the hospital’s counsellors, Anna Young, has supported the group since day one, and accompanies the group on walks, to support both Silvano and the group members.

“The role of the counsellor is to be there to support group members who may be struggling with their grief or other stressors in their lives, and who may require more specific counselling support,” says Anna.

“One of the major benefits of the walk, is that it may feel less threatening or intimidating for people to walk and talk, than to be sitting indoors, facing each other within a group.

“There’s a different dynamic with the walk. Being outside in nature is helpful. It allows participants the freedom to talk or not talk, in a neutral, natural setting, and gives them something else to observe and to talk about, especially if they don’t feel comfortable in sharing their grief.

“If there’s silence, it’s may feel a little less obvious, awkward or pronounced when you’re outside. There is plenty of things to see and it encourages physical activity, which can be helpful in grief”.

One year on since their first tentative steps as a small, like-minded group, Silvano is happy and proud of the progress the individuals and the group have made. If a ‘newbie’ joins the group for a walk, he naturally gravitates to them to welcome them and spend some one-on-one time with them to sensitively help them to integrate.

“If you saw us sometimes, we just appear to be like any other group of friends, enjoying the fresh air and the outdoors,” says Silvano.

“And in its own way, that’s an achievement for the group, because after all the pain and tears and the roller coaster that we’ve all experienced, some days you just want to be normal and feel normal. That’s an okay place to be.”

While the Bereavement Walking Group isn’t open to the general public, the vision is to link with other palliative care service providers to create a mini-network of walking groups around Brisbane and south-east Queensland.

St Vincent’s walks the bereavement journey: for Silvano and friends it’s just one step at a time

Better and fairer care. Always.